A Message from Sara: Letting Go

QUESTION: Could I please for guidance in helping my mom transition, and helping the family cope? I’m not sure if it’s her final chapter or second to last—she’s got dementia, is down to about 90 pounds, barely eats. She’s 85 now, but never recovered from my father’s sudden death of a heart attack at home Dec. 18, 2015. On Jan. 18, 2016–a month later—she fell outside in January, broke a hip, and nearly died of exposure in 10-degree weather. When she didn’t answer the house phone, my sister and I called neighbors who found her. (I live 2 hours away, am the closest of 3 daughters.) 10-days later, she fell again in rehab, broke her other hip so ended up with 2 emergency surgeries in 10 days. She went on to fracture her Pelvis on July 4 that year, and broke her shoulder in the fall. She’s been in a nursing home since then that first fall, but her health continues to decline. Currently she’s at an in-patient hospice center but is rallying a bit, we need to move her to a new skilled nursing center now, hoping we can find one. It’s been very hard watching her decline and trying to take care of her while not putting my life on hold. I’m chanting a lot and praying. And crying often. Anyway, any insight you could share to help me manage all of this would be much appreciated.

ANSWER:

Dearest,

In the simplest terms, this is difficult for you because you are seeing it as a problem. In your estimation, from your vantage point, you have many valid reasons for seeing this as wrong. “Your mother should be healthier, or dying more gracefully, or your sister should be acting different”… When we look at the condition as they are, we can choose to see things in many different ways.

If we asked you, as a baseline question, “how do you want to feel?” what would you say? Do you want to feel worried, disheveled, tormented, by this situation? Or would you rather feel joyful? When put this way, the answer seems obvious doesn’t it? And yet few humans realize that they are deciding how to feel about something first. That is the impulse from which creation happens. You are not so much reacting to a tragic situation. You are able to see tragedy because of your belief system. You have certain criteria for how people should be, around and with you, that you prefer. We understand that. You did not consciously choose to have your mother “decline” as you put it. And yet, here she is, in your reality, appearing to “decline” before your very eyes.

Well, we cannot imagine anyone feeling good about someone they love DECLINE. Where is she inclining exactly? Is she inclining towards the truer version of herself, which exists, and has always existed beyond this body she is slowly releasing? The most visible manifestation of her “giving up” this physical existence might be that she is getting physically lighter in weight, or her skeleton is no longer able to support her the way it used to… She is releasing slowly. We wonder if you are ready to see her go.

Do you understand that you need not prepare for a goodbye? Your mother is a part of your reality. She has been with you for many lives. You are linked. You live in an attractive Universe, where nothing is ever lost, and no one ever dies. You are eternal. Your mother is eternal. Your sister is eternal.

Cloaked over this eternal-ness is a family who is observing a very normal part of physical existence—what you call death—as a tragedy because of their perspective of the circumstances. We say “that’s wonderful!” This experience is for all of you to move beyond your limited understanding of what family really means. Family in physical reality is a group of beings that ended up in the same blood line by certain physical circumstances. Your family on Earth is intentional. You all play, have played, and continue to play very specific roles for each other. These roles have nothing to do with who you truly are in non-physical, and we can say with absolute certainty, that the truest version of your mother is ready to release her rental of this human body.

However, in its absolute perfection, the law of attraction has brought to you all—your whole family—a manifestation event that is triggering you all in different ways. Your mother’s ego is afraid to release her physical existence, your sister’s ego is afraid for your mother, and so is yours. Your egos register fear as a defense mechanism against early death. Your ego is wonderful at keeping you alive. Problem is, the person who could “die” is ready, and the people who are afraid for their mother have nothing to be afraid of in the first place, because the worst fear is always death, and in this case it is inevitable anyway.

So why is this wonderful? Does that seem like a strange perspective? Imagine your life from our vantage point. We see only the exhilarating feeling of having a human body, playing a role, getting to explore physical reality, getting to taste things, and smell things, and see things… We see your mother as perfect, your sister as perfect, and you as perfect. Non-physical energy is total and utter bliss. We come to physical reality, to incarnate—to have this experience of limitedness. When you make your transition back to non-physical, you too will be back in pure bliss. And then you’ll go for another round of physical life. You have hopped in and out of incarnations since the beginning of time. And this one is but a blink of an eye in the grand scheme of eternity.

We love this question because it allows us to explore so many aspects of physical reality that humans of your culture deem unacceptable. And yet, by the very fact that the Universe allows them to exist, does it not seem strange that most of you reject these situations as “bad” or “wrong?” You think you would prefer a better death perhaps… we assure you you would not. You would not want your mother to have died gracefully in her sleep 4 years ago after your father. It would have been too much in too short a period of time. It would not have allowed you to see yourself in this caregiver capacity. It would have impeded your ability to grow in certain ways that you intended to before your birth as Meg. It would not have given you the opportunity to ask this question, see things from another perspective, and gain clarity around the subject of eternalness.

There are no mistakes anywhere in the Universe. This is not a mistake. Your response is not a mistake. And your journey is not a mistake. For right now, you will not be able to see where this is all leading you, but we promise you it is leading you towards where you have always wanted to go… to the Meg you have always wanted to be. The Meg who accepts her mother just as she is. The Meg who accepts herself just as she is, and just as her sister is. Just as the nurses are.

Your job is not to steer the ship, it is to keep it afloat. You are doing the best you can, and the only thing you need add to this is ACCEPTANCE. As you infuse this situation with more love, more acceptance, more surrender… you will see how this is all playing out for the best and highest good of everyone involved. And even if you can’t believe us now, we assure you it will be a more joyful ride if you could convince yourself a little… or a lot.

With our love,
Sara